peace is a rarity in this world.when it comes it never seems to stay for long.peace has come and gone.it left more questions as it caame and wt.i dunno how to answer them.sometimes its just not worth fighting.i dont wanna fight.i just wanna take the hit.a bullet to the brain.bullet to the heart.hit the floor and just never get up.maybe then i could escape from these unanswered questions.im tired.but im not alone.i want to be.for awhiile.maybe just for a little while

;Emo Theo

its fate...........finally fate is on my side fate gave me the greatest gift of all.this girl.this pretty smart funny girl that loves me so much and i know shes not like the rest i just know.she says that she is scared.i think im more scared.i have a tendency to screw things up.im scared to screw this up.shes too important for me to screw this up.i can't let it happen.i won't let it happen.shes just toooooo important.i dont wanna make any mistakes with her.i wanna make this work.i'll die making this work if i have to.but yet a part of me is hoping that for this to work it does not affect her in anyway.i want her to be happy but then i want her to be the best she can be.i don't wanna affect her studies.i don't want to get in the way of her friendships.i just wanna be there for her without hurting her in anyway.
if she tears im crying inside.if shes angry im ten times more angry at what made her angry.if shes happy im a million times as happy.shes my everything.and i hope i can still continue to say this till the end of time.im not leaving anytime soon baby.what about you?

;Emo Theo (not so emo after all)

i dunno.i thought i figured it out.gues i was wrong again.shes amazing shes just amazing.shes smart.shes profound.she has a heart of gold.beautiful,ambitious but so very down to earth.how can someone who can have no intention of hurting anything or anyone do something like this?she cares but yet it seems like she doesn't.i think i like her but the problem is i dun think she can bring herself to do the same.it sux it really does.the reason sucks more its really a really insulting excuse or a real kick to my head.she eithers lieing cuz she just wants to say straight out no but is too nice to do it or she just doesnt see me as worth it and that her dancing studies and and everything else in her world is more important.what i would do for a girl like you to just say you love me and leave it just there

;Emo Theo

its 3am im at the peak of my intellectual capacity which is like 100005 more than what jat and all see from me when im around them.so the boats been rocked the ripples have long gone.a moment of relief that that madness is over but the thing is im still stuck at sea.back to square one but square one wasn't where i wanted to be.happy-er.not saying that im greedy and i want alot its just that i got a bit and i dun think its enough.i think i dunno anymore when it comes to the hers.tell me how am i suppose to decode:im not implying anything but just let go of me i want you to be happy.if you look at it like that you can see it as a)fuck off i think you suck but being the awesome person i am im not gonna say it staight to your face b)ummmm i dun think you should wait for me cuz i think im holding the line for the million and one girls behind me waiting to get to you.well if its B then i think that you should know i am happy and that youre not holding me back from anything if you set someone "free" to be happy and that person comes back to you doesn't that mean you make that person happy?if its A i think a straight in the face answer would evetually get youre point across.well enuff with the hers ive had too much turmoil in that troubled waters lets change scene.school.ah yes school....oh damn i fucked that up too.quite bad actually.well ive not been super hardcore studying but i have been putting in above normal effort.too bad my brilliant timing makes me the unsung hero i dun wanna be.for god sakes soccer matches are not on at 3am everyday.and although im a nut for footie i wont wake up early everymorning just for that.i was studying god dammit.ahwell now i learned smth from that if you wanna study LET THE WHOLE WORLD KNOW.at least then you'll have witnesses you actually did.aiyoyoyo.parents parents parents.poor them to not know what they're children are going through.but poor us we suffer when they dunno what to do eh?liddat nobody win where got fair one?that one is harcore lose-lose one sia how liddat?the only thing going well is frens.........isn't it through that frens are the most awesome thing.they are la fuck you all who say theyre not substances and sex come in tied at second and third.FRENS FIRST.thank you jat keith gabriel loy chua the choos and to some extent jacob and axel you all are the people i'd die for as for david alde brandon joel isk weixian weihan i wont die for you all but got problem need help IM THERE if im gonna die helping you...no fuck you...i'll throw you all first and run like the wind(thought i'll try my best to make sure it doesn't come to that).

;Emo Theo

so know I know you were not real.just a fake fucking show you put up.I fell for it you were just motherfucking walking breathing lie.maybe you should have just turned away after the first time you met me.you had me fooled.sent me the complete wrong way.
;Emo Theo

well.I thought it was over.i thought I had moved on.I guess I haven't.I feel so hypocritical now.I'm sorry mat.I told you that letting go was easy but I myself can't do it.I turns out I'm not strong enuff.I'm too emotionally vulnerable I break easily.you spoke to me online just now.you talked to me about normal things we used to talk about.but I felt something sink inside me.I wanna tell you straight in your face that its probably best if I never talk to you again.but Im just to scared to live on life with the chance I might regret it.theres too many already and that's too many too many.I can't deal with one more.I was reading some stupid thing on friendster jus now.it made me me sink inside really deep.the words that did it were simply

without you're love I would die


;Emo Theo

I think I'm getting it out of my system.it was a great-ish day.well not really but one of the better days.so it went like this woke up.went to school did exam(can pass!).after school went to eat siglap went behind to the alley to lepak and take pictures.went to meet Loy and keith.Aaron tried to start a fight.quite funny see dialogue below:
Aaron:eh why you all hum sia.usually liddat we go already what?
Me:I not ready laaaaaa
Aaron:what ready all?
Me:I haven't drink coffee!

awesome.then we went to united square and sat at the top level.and kept disturbing Kenneth.stupid ahbeng with the piercings.haha everytime his ah lian girlfriend message him he'll smile.hmmm reminds me of me once.

;Emo Theo

what a day.sit in the exam hall and fail.no mood to write in exam room today so no poetic soul today.ehhhhh loser-nesss.hmmmmm I think you only get over love when love songs stop making so much sense.they as of right now are the most sensible thing right now.well thats messed up!ehhhhh not fair la jeremy is more photogenic than meeeeee.at least people say I better looking :) wellllll then I think thats enuff for today I hope tomrrow comes sooner.cuz I'm sick of today.but I'll be back to square one tomorrow.for now I'll share the words if gold in my head now.

I swear that you don't have to go
I thought we could wait for the fireworks
I though we could wait for the snow
to wash over Georgia and kill the hurt
I thought I could live in your arms
and spent every moment I had with you
stay up all night with the stars
confess all the faith that I had in you

notice that the words are thought an not know cuz what you think and what is real sometimes just dun click
;Emo Theo

scars are fading slowly but they still hurt.I know you'll never see this but well somewhere in cyberspace it was said.



my heart was broken
I gave it to you
you cared and listened
it turned somehow new
through times in shadow
I only want the light of your smile
please don't leave me now
I'm on my knees, at least for awhile
make time stand still
dart my heart around
just don't go away
let music keep its sound
whisper sweet nothings
your attention is perfection
I'll be dead without you
its a fatal attraction

;Emo Theo

I walked along my path going my own way.it wasn't the smoothest of journeys but neither was it the worse.you came along and you walked on this path with me yours joined mine and its seemed so much smoother.there was a fork up ahead you asked me to turn right.I always turned left.i was afraid of change.you convinced me it was a change worth making.you sugar coated it with promises but when I made that turn you dissapeared on me.turns out you were more afraid than me.you gave up.I fell soon after on that road it was too rough for me.I just couldn't do it.I could walk no more.I sat there on the ground crying in pain.but after awhile I found out no one was coming to it aid it was just me and all I had was me.i then found out it doesn't pay to trust,to believe,how stupid was I to believe.sugar cotated promises tasted so sweet but in truth were empty and bitter.I'm sorry I ever listened to you believed you.I walk my own path alone now its gonna take heaven and hell to convince me to let anyone walk beside me.if you tell me to take a chance I'll show you the scars of what going a leap of faith has done to me.goodbye to you whoever you are.I can't rememer your name but your face will always hurt those scars.I hope our paths never ever cross again
Theo the emo

its so gay to Blog but who cares right?ur gay just for being here!hmmmmmmm I think I lost my reason to live........again...........for the third time in the bloody month!NO I'm not suicidal but like i think if someone tried to run me over I'd just stand there and not move.hahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa sighs.I swea I'm too dependant on some stuff like coffee!and ahem!!!!! (its not a girl laaaaaa) coffee makes me happy makes me say the stupidest things on earth and keeps me sane while being insane if ya know what I mean.its like a freaking drug to me.if only there was a drug that would last a thousand times longer.what the fuckkkkkkkkkkk.AKU WORLD SIA.